Lashana Lynch Cast as 007 in New James Bond Movie, Much to the Chagrin of Racsts

It’s a really tough time to be a racist in America.

First, Disney dared to cast an African-American as Ariel in its upcoming The Little Mermaid remake.

Then, President Donald Trump said the typically quiet part out loud when Tweeting that a quartet of Congresswomen ought to “leave” America and return to the country from where they are from.

And now these same racists have lost James Bond.

Sort of, that is.

According to The Daily Mail,  Lashana Lynch — a 31-year old actress most recently seen in Captain Marvel — has been cast as 007 in the upcoming James Bond movie.

No, Lynch will not portray Bond himself.

Daniel Craig has signed on to reprise his role as this legendary British agent in the impending (and currently untitled) film… but Lynch will come in as a new secret agent, taking over Bond’s iconic codename.

In what way? How will this work?

An insider tells the aforementioned publication the blockbuster will center on how Bond has retired from the agency, only to be called back for duty to help deal with a new crisis.

“There is a pivotal scene at the start of the film where M says ‘Come in 007’, and in walks Lashana who is black, beautiful and a woman,” writes The Mail, adding:

“It’s a popcorn-dropping moment. Bond is still Bond, but he’s been replaced as 007 by this stunning woman.”

The source goes on to explain that Bond is “sexually attracted to the new female 007 and tries his usual seduction tricks,” but he is “baffled when they don’t work.” 

There’s also another way in which the movie will be updated to better fit in with the current day and age:

The Mail insider claims that the term “Bond girls” has been removed from use and replaced with “Bond women.”

“This is a Bond for the modern era who will appeal to a younger generation while sticking true to what we all expect in a Bond film,” the insider adds in this report, continuing as follows:

“There are spectacular chase sequences and fights, and Bond is still Bond but he’s having to learn to deal with the world of #MeToo.”

As you might expect, a certain segment of the Internet is unhappy with this development.

This is the same segment that’s been upset for years over the rumor that Idris Elba may one day replace Craig as Bond himself.

We’ll let you figure out what Lynch and Elba have in common.

The upcoming movie will be written by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, who recently discussed Bond’s relevancy in today’s world during an interview with Deadline.

“There’s been a lot of talk about whether or not [the Bond franchise] is relevant now because of who he is and the way he treats women,” she told the outlet in May.

“I think that’s bollocks. I think he’s absolutely relevant now. It has just got to grow. It has just got to evolve, and the important thing is that the film treats the women properly.

“He doesn’t have to. He needs to be true to this character.”

The 25th installment in this action franchise will also feature Rami Malek, Billy Magnusse, David Dencik, Dali Benssalah, Ralph Fiennes, Rory Kinnear, Ben Whishaw, Naomie Harris and Jeffrey Wright.

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