Well, if you follow our ongoing series of reports about Florida Man and his feminine counterpart Florida Woman, you know our expectations for the citizens of the Sunshine State are at once very high and very, very low.
We expect a level of depravity that can’t be found in other states, and we become deeply disappointed when Floridians fail to deliver in that respect.
Thankfully, it seems that Florida Derangement Syndrome is a condition that affects every resident at one point or another, and this week, Republican congressman Matt Gaetz has tested positive.
You might remember Gaetz from his regular antics and theatrics as one of President Trump’s top cheerleaders in the U.S. House.
Or from his drunk driving arrest, or the recent revelation that he lives with a 19-year-old boy whom he “considers to be [his] son.”
But as of today, you’ll remember him as the number one Tiffany Trump fan on Twitter.
Yes, it’s easy to forget about the existence of poor, overlooked Tiffany.
After all, she’s not nearly as involved with her father’s political career as Ivanka, Don Jr., and Eric, and unlike Barron, she didn’t catch Covid with Donald and Melania.
But Matt Gaetz has not forgotten about Tiffany — in fact, it seems she’s at the very forefront of his mind.
Gaetz retweeted a photo of Tiff earlier this week, and to make the occasion extra weird, he added a bunch of creepy emojis.
Commenters were quick to call Gaetz out on the weirdness of attempting to kiss Trump’s ass by talking about how hot his daughter is.
Although the grossest thing about all of this is that that tactic might actually be effective.
“I’m curious what the calculus is to get a congressperson to this tweet. Of course it’s Matt Gaetz so…..” tweeted Molly Jong-Fast.
“The emoji with heart eyes is weird. also the fire one. ok the heart one too,” added Elizabeth Vargas.
“He wants Trump to be his father-in-law?” David Wilson Brown theorized.
That last one seems like a very likely theory, as Gaetz is a big, big — you might even say yuuuuge — Donald Trump fan.
“I will never love another President again,” Gaetz recently tweeted alongside a video clip of the president.
“He knows who I am, and he doesn’t want to screw me,” he said, when asked about his relationship to the president shortly after inauguration.
And hey, earlier today, Gaetz tweeted this photo of himself and Tiffany, so it seems he might be one step closer to his goal!
Unfortunately, he captioned it, “BREAKING: @TiffanyATrump and I are friends!’
So yeah, this story has a very sad ending for Gaetz.
Not only has he been friendzoned by Tiffany, he suffered a major public humiliation when the president repeatedly botched his name and referred to him as “Rick Gates” during a recent rally in Florida.
Poor guy. You almost feel bad for him.
No doubt Matt has been crying himself to sleep and consoling himself with the knowledge that he and the Donald will laugh about all of this at his and Tiff’s wedding someday.
Tiffany Trump: The Donald’s Daughter is Hotter Than His Temper!Start Gallery
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