Let’s be honest. Cauliflower rice does not have the taste or texture of rice. It’s just soggy Cauliflower. Reheated it smells and tastes of fart. And cauliflower steak? A complete misnomer. Equally, courgetti – that’s spaghetti made out of malformed courgettes – is wet and dilutes the sauce with its green sadwater. Kombucha, the magic rotting thing, tastes of old tea with a tinge of compost heap. Smashed avocado for the overripe ones drenched in lime juice. Grim. Texture and look of snot. Protein balls are like bird feed. Chia has the texture of frogspawn. Grazing platters are Salmonella’s wet dream. Bubble tea – who wants cold milky tea with lumps of jelly? And stop serving burgers in brioche buns. I don’t want a sweet burger. I tried to like halloumi but the texture was like chewing a balloon. Kale is horrible and tastes of mud. And I hate quinoa. Quinoa. Pronounced keeeeenwahhhhh … Just tastes like bitter gritty slop.
The Odon Device
Jorge Odon was an Argentinian car mechanic who, one day, watched a video on YouTube that showed a trick for removing a cork that is stuck inside a wine bottle. Even though he had no medical training at all, the video inspired him to create a device to help deliver babies who are stuck inside the birth canal. And apparently the device (he’s called it the Odon Device) actually works — enough so that an American medical technology firm has agreed to manufacture it.
Great expectations
Roky the German shepherd will be disappointed. His kennel, which was hit and holed by a meteorite in 2019 and put up for auction, failed to get anywhere near its pre-sale estimated value. After all the bids were in at London auctioneers Christie’s, Roky’s abode fetched just US$44,100 ($65,000) – a far cry from the US$300,000 some thought it might go for. The space rock that made the hole was sold for US$21,420.
Mysterious sign
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Pointless fact
New Zealand’s Whangārei Aerodrome and Morocco’s Tangier Ibn Battouta Airport are on precisely opposite sides of the Earth: In an antipodal map projection, which maps each part of the world to its opposite location, the two airports’ runways even cross. Unfortunately, at 1097 meters, Whangārei’s longest runway is too short to accommodate a commercial jet with the necessary range, so there’s no way to actually fly from one to the other. For the dedicated air traveller, the next best pairing is Taipei and Asuncion, which are 19,912km apart.
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