My ex won't move out after I caught him sexting other women – I feel so trapped

DEAR DEIDRE: THE Sun’s story about Denise Van Outen’s sexting ex could have been written about my own relationship.

It brought back the shock and hurt I felt when I caught my long-term partner red-handed, texting female friends and women he met online.


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I am 33, he is 36, and until he betrayed me, we had been living together happily for four years.

I thought he was The One and that we would have kids and grow old together.

I only discovered his betrayal because he left his phone charging in the kitchen one day, while he was doing something in the garage.

I was standing right next to it when I heard a bleep and a message flashed up on his instant messaging app. It read: “Hello big boy! Call me this evening.”

It was from a blonde woman whose name I didn’t recognise.

Of course, he denied it, saying it was just friendly banter with a girl from work.

But he became really secretive with his phone. Eventually, I confronted him and made him let me read all his messages.

There were hundreds, some dating back 13 months. And not just with this one woman, but with others. They were all flirty or disgustingly sexual.

He said he never intended to do anything physical with any of them — it was a laugh.

But to me, sexting is cheating.

It has destroyed me. It’s not just the cheating, it’s the fact he was doing it under my nose, then lied about it.

I thought we were building a future together. I had even let him move into my house, and to come on to the mortgage.

Now I feel so trapped. I’ve asked him to move out. But he won’t leave because he says he has nowhere to go.

He says I’ll have to buy him out. But I can’t afford that. We no longer sleep together.

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He taunts me by continuing to text other women and doesn’t even try to hide it.

I cry myself to sleep every night.

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DEIDRE SAYS:  Not only did your partner betray you, he didn’t even have the courage to come clean or to leave when you asked him to.

He is treating you with utter disrespect. He is also holding you to ransom over the mortgage, which is a form of financial abuse.

My support pack Abusive Partners will tell you more about this. The one on Ending A Relationship has practical advice.

READ MORE DEAR DEIDRE

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I caught my 11-year-old daughter naked in bed with her best female friend

It’s clear you no longer want to be in a relationship with him. Living like this is destroying your mental health. You need to take legal advice over the house and finances.

Contact citizensadvice.org.uk. If you think you are becoming depressed, make an appointment with your GP.

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