My partner has been avoiding sex and won't tell me why

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner tells me he loves me but I suspect he thinks I’m just part of the furniture.

He won’t have sex with me. I pleasured him at the beginning of the year but he didn’t reciprocate and that was our last sex session.


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It was his 40th birthday recently.

I cooked a lovely meal, dressed up and we had an expensive bottle of wine, but he just wanted to slob about and watch television.

If I tell him how much I want to have sex with him he just says, “I know” and won’t explain what he means.

I just want a proper sex life with him.

DEIDRE SAYS: He knows something isn’t right. Maybe he is defensive or embarrassed because he has a sexual problem.

Tell him everything can be sorted if you talk about it.

Meanwhile, a good start is caressing each other, with no pressure to have sex at first. My e-leaflet on Sex-play Therapy explains.

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