Halloween can be a weird time if you want to be a weirdo.
No other night promotes weirdness like Oct. 31, so there can be a lot of pressure finding the most outrageous outfits and kooky costumes to wear.
We’ve made it easy for you.
Our guide features the strangest stuff to wear this Halloween, all in various stages of tastelessness.
You don’t have to thank us now, but you’d better not give us Tootsie Rolls if we trick-or-treat at your house.
Deer In The Headlights Couples Costume
One of Halloween’s most glorious traditions is the couples costume. A two-part costume that shows the world that the two of you are on the same wavelength. The message sent by the Deer in the Headlights costume? Be careful on the road: There’s wildlife out there.
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Parents get one, maybe two Halloweens where they get to force their kid into a “cute” costume, like a pumpkin. Your child will rule the unofficial baby costume contest by dressing up a dinosaur hatchling. That’s all you need to know. Oh, and you will be able to use photos of the kid as blackmail fodder for years
Why does dressing up as a piñata, an object designed to be bashed and destroyed, seem like a bad idea? I suppose you could stuff the costume with candy just to freak out potential attackers.
As you might have figured, what this cactus costume lacks in subtlety, it more than makes up in tackiness. Honestly, some people are a little slow, so you may have to help them see the gentle humor of this charming disguise: “I’m a cactus with big balls!”
Sexy (?) Muskox
I musk ox you a question: Do you really want to dress as a muskox for Halloween? Really? You do? Wow. … Seriously? Surely, this costume makes a statement and that statement is … muskox.
If you want lots of attention, the Blunt Master is sure to do the trick. It’s also good if you want to become the most popular person in your college dorm.
Once a cheeseball, always a cheeseball.
If you’re game to be hit on all night, then dressing up as a cornhole game may be the ticket. However, you may want to bring another costume in case you get tired of people tossing bean bags at you all night.
Guinea Pig Mermaid
Does the idea of guinea pig Halloween costumes seem a little fishy? Well, then that’s a perfect excuse to dress up the animal like the Little Mermaid.
Did you miss out on storming Area 51? Well, you can still alienate your friends and family by dressing up as a sexy extraterrestrial. “Take me to your Solo cups.”
The other party guests are sure to go ape when you show up dressed as a baboon. If the party is all ages, expect to reenact the opening of “The Lion King” more times than you’d like (which would be at least once).
Female Prince Costume
Dig if you will a picture of a woman dressed up as Prince. The purple jacket and a revealing top. Can you, my darling, can you picture this? (Actually, as you can see, we made it easy for you).
There are two types of people who dress up as possibly beloved fast food icons for Halloween: those paying genuine homage and those who think they are engaging in a subtle critique of corporate culture. Hey, why are you walking away?
Daddy Shark Hoodie
It’s one thing to take your kid trick-or-treating, but maybe you don’t feel like wearing a costume-y costume. Coming to the rescue is the Daddy Shark hoodie: It brilliantly blurs the line between utilitarian sportswear and half-assed Halloween costume.
Honestly, you’ll probably get more compliments for this toilet costume later in the evening after the cocktails kick in. You might want to bring a change of clothes in case people confuse you for the real thing.
Inflatable Wild Wavy
You might look at this Wild Wavy, and think, “Meh.” Sadly, the brilliance of this costume only shows up until you celebrate Halloween at a really crowded bar: Your friends will never lose sight of you!
This Sexy Bullfighter costume is likely to inspire the type of reactions typically only accessible by animated characters. Depending on the weather, you may also need an extra-long cape.
BEFORE YOU GO
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